Too Tired To Think Straight

I’m tired. I’m so tired, I can’t think straight. I have so many things to blog about, that really probably should be entirely separate posts, and some of them probably should not even be blogged about at all, but I’m too tired to sort out the wheat from the chaff.

I’ve been tired since last Wednesday. I’ve not had a chance to stop and catch up on myself, so the tiredness is just accumulating and the end of the week is soooooooo far away. Meanwhile, I’m so tired that I nap at the traffic lights while driving (isn’t that a great idea?). I was tempted to nap while waiting ten minutes outside the kids’ school to pick them up, but then I thought, what if I nap and don’t wake up for an hour or two? I’m so tired that I’ve even stopped listening to music while driving, because even listening to music takes effort. I honestly never knew that before.

Anyhow, yesterday morning I was so pleased because Mrini woke up at 5.30 a.m., said, “Mama, sussu,” went to the bathroom, peed, flushed, and went back to bed without any intervention on my part whatsoever. Wow! She’s been staying dry through the night for a couple of weeks, so I removed her nighttime diaper about ten nights ago. She’s had two accidents since then – which is not too bad really. And now this! My babies are growing up!

Not Tara so much, though. She still has an accident if she sleeps too long in the afternoon, so she’s clearly not ready for nighttime toilet training any time soon. But I don’t mind, really, if she takes her time about it.

It’s strange, though, how Mrini seems so grown up compared to Tara that she actually seems somewhat older than her. She talks more, and more coherently, she picks up activities and concepts faster, she applies herself more diligently, she’s more sensible and more responsible overall… in so many ways, she just seems to be older. I don’t think it has anything to do with birth order; this is just the way she is. It is not a good thing or a bad thing – it’s just interesting to see how two kids, genetically identical and raised in the same environment and circumstances, can have such different personalities and abilities.

One thing Mrini hasn’t figured out yet, is what exactly it means to be “smart”.

See, we listen to The Wombles in the car all the time – because they love it. There’s one song called “Underground Overture” (the second part of this video). For a long time, Mrini struggled to say it. She called it the “Wombleground Underture” (interesting, that) and she knew that wasn’t quite right. Then at last, she managed “Underground Overture” and she was delighted at getting it right. “Mama,” she said happily, “I’m not very smart.” Tara had already mastered the phrase, so Mrini added by way of explanation, “Tara’s not very smart, I’m not very smart.” Tara seemed to take that as a compliment.

And they wondered why I was laughing.

I needed to laugh at something at that point – I’d just seen something terrible. There was a long traffic jam on the inner ring road and after crawling by for ages, we saw the cause. An Esteem-type car (unidentifiable now) had crashed into an electric light pole on the divider. The pole now stuck out across one lane of our side – well, more than one lane, but by then it was high enough so you could safely pass under it. Apparently it was still live and traffic was edging gingerly past the lower section. On the other side, the crashed car still lay. It was a burnt shell. There was nothing in it – just a blackened shell. The petrol tank must have caught fire. It was gruesome. It was the sort of thing you see on TV… but… it never bothered me to see this kind of thing on TV, whether on news or movies. It never seemed real. This, suddenly, was too real. Some poor sucker driving along makes one small mistake and poof! Roasted! Or, perhaps, electrocuted.

Ugh (shuddering). It could happen to anyone.

That’s a good reason not to drive when you’re tired. Or drunk (which, at any rate, I don’t do).

Anyhow, we had a birthday party yesterday. It totally was the sort of day which reminded me why I ever wanted to be a mother. It is so simple with little kids – you do whatever you can (and that might be a lot) to make them happy, and you never want anything back, except to know that what you did made them happy. How I worked to make it a memorable day! And it was! Well, at least for me it was.

I had most of the baking in hand by Monday evening. On Monday night Suchorita came and did the decorations for me and helped me to pack the cup cakes (thanks a lot!). Then I did some organizing, blew up lots of balloons, and brought the kids’ birthday gifts – bicycles – in from outside and re-inflated their tyres. Man, was I tired at the end of that!

But it was worth it, because the girls woke up and went with great delight straight to their cycles. And with the decorations in place, it felt like a party from the moment they got up. When party-time came, enormous fun was had with the balloons – kids playing and adults watching.

It was very funny to note that the girls have completely understood the concept that on birthdays, you get gifts. The concept of “thank you” is still some way off, though. One of the other kids had an interesting comment. Urged by her mother to hand over the gifts to Mrini and Tara, who had just got their gifts from somebody else, this girl says, “but they already have gifts.”

Of course the girls had zero success at blowing out the candles on their birthday cakes – which was ultimately done by yours truly (but only after Tara manage to spew out some spit in the vicinity). But after that all went well – the cakes were decently demolished, the chips were annihilated, while the samosas were roundly ignored.

And I stayed up till well past 11, watching the videos (thanks S&S!) – which was the greatest fun of all and well worth all the effort of making the party happen.

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