DON’T!

It’s not so much fun being a toddler, I think. There’s so many things you’re not allowed to do. For instance:

  • Don’t touch that (about 25 times a day for phone, computer, broom, dustpan, dustbin, and mop, dirty diaper…)
  • Don’t open that clothes cupboard
  • Don’t open that kitchen cabinet either
  • Don’t put your hand in the toilet
  • Out! You’re not allowed in the bathroom
  • Don’t take off your clothes unless I tell you to
  • Or your shoes
  • Or your hair clip
  • And DO NOT open your diaper
  • Nor your sister’s
  • Don’t bang on the washing machine, or dismantle its detergent tray
  • Don’t stuff the washing machine full of toys (unless you really dirtied them, in which case, don’t)
  • Don’t mess with the TV
  • Don’t bang on the window, the mirror, or the framed paintings
  • Don’t tug on the electric cable of the fridge
  • DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EVER pull the childproof pieces out of the electric sockets and stick your fingers or bits of metal things into them
  • Don’t pull the paint off the wall
  • And double-don’t eat it!
  • Don’t climb on the dining table
  • Don’t unravel those bedsheets which I just spent 15 minutes folding
  • Don’t pull/push/pinch/beat her or poke her eyes out or pull her hair – she’s your sister!
  • Don’t attack me – I’m your mother!

And lastly but most vehemently: DON’T lock me or yourselves into or out of anywhere or anything (including, but not limited to the bathroom, verandah, apartment, and car)!

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