There’s no point going on about it, but the fact remains that every time we see kids – and we see kids every day, every where, damn it! – I think of how nice it would be to have our own, and I wonder when it’s ever going to happen and whether it’s ever going to happen. Life goes on, I don’t get all depressed and blue, like I used to, but I still think of it and it still pricks me, every day.
We had heard that it might be easier (read, quicker) to adopt from Calcutta, so with great hopes we approached a well-reputed agency over there… but after meeting my father-in-law three times and Amit once, they said, “Sorry, we don’t really encourage out-of-state applicants. Come back in January. Or don’t.”
We were thinking, vaguely, of trying yet another agency in Calcutta, but without putting our hearts into it. I thought Bangalore was our best hope and it looks like being a long wait.
Then, we got a call. They’ve got twins! In Tamil Nadu. Are we interested?
You bet we are!
It’s true, they’re 13 months old, so we have already missed the first step, the first word and all that. They’re probably already rattling away entire sentences in Tamil. But, if we get them, we’ll have them the rest of our lives at least, won’t we? Even if we’ll have to jump straight into the potty training part, without any of the cute, cuddly, waddling around on all fours part. (I hate when people tell me how lucky I’ll be to miss out on the long nights and the early months. I really don’t think missing out on the teeniest bit of it, however tiring, is “lucky” and if people think it is, they should try it, before they say it.)
Anyway, so, twins. That means two. Girls. I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up – it’s too early to say anything and lots of things could go wrong… I shouldn’t be declaring it to the world at large right now… it’s like telling everyone you’re pregnant the morning after the night before. But, hope and anguish are fighting a pitched battle inside me, and I can’t keep quiet about this right now.
I wish Amit weren’t such a staunch atheist… crazy (and corny) though it sounds, I’d be happier if I knew there were two of us praying for this to work out.
Naturally, I’ll keep you all posted.