Monthly Archives: September 2007

Twins at Home!

I have never noticed a city I visited less than I noticed Pondicherry on this trip. I knew my way to the orphanage, and that was all. I even had to have the beach pointed out to me along the way, I was that preoccupied.

Meeting the twins at the orphanage, I could not say there was any instant attraction or bonding. When we held them, they cried, as we had been warned they would. All the same, the younger one, Tara, settled down quite quickly, though Mrini took a while. She was the first to throw up on me, politely favouring me with her attention on our way from hospital to orphanage on Tuesday. Now she has turned out to be a clingy and somewhat whiny baby who always wants to be held. She sucks her thumb and forefinger all the time and seems a little withdrawn, scared, and a bit of a “mommy’s-girl” – she follows me around like a puppy on all fours and cries if Amit picks her up. Tara is all smiles, the adventurous one, and loves Amit. The only problem is that she is being fussy about her food, eating very little and obligingly vomiting on her feeder if coaxed to eat more than she would like. They both have stuffed noses, and Tara absolutely hates having her nose wiped. She loves being bathed, though, and Mrini hates it and howls fit to bring the neighbours down if her hair is washed.

They are sometimes very cute together – if they are in the mood, they will go crawling off towards some particularly enticing object, pull themselves up using whatever furniture is at hand, stand shakily for some minutes with their backsides wobbling, then sit down together, plop, on their bottoms, turn around and grin at us. Tara bullies Mrini by pushing her, pulling her hair, and telling her not to suck her thumb. Mrini meets most of these advances with a stern and somewhat skeptical look, as though to say, “What would you know, you’re fifteen minutes younger than me.”

All said and done, they are a proper handful. Two handfuls, actually.

Hmmm… we have been inundated with phone calls. My parents, who never showed any real signs of being doting grandparents have, according to my sister, been staring cross-eyed and photos of the twins and wondering whether 7 a.m. is too early to phone and find out what the twins are getting for breakfast.

Right now, Tara and Mrini are having their afternoon nap, and Amit is sprawled out next to them, also having an afternoon nap – he hasn’t been able to sleep at night, though the twins seem to be getting a good eight hours.

Life has changed radically all right – from being DINKs (double income no kids) two weeks ago, we suddenly find ourselves as full-fledged SITTs (Single income, two toddlers).

Photos? Well, they are in the camera and two cell phones. The only question is, when will I get them out and on to Flickr??? Your guess is as good as mine. 🙂

Yes, Twins!

We got our babies! We drove back from Pondicherry yesterday afternoon. It was all relatively smooth sailing, medical tests were all clear and the girls took to us without too much fuss. They’re sleeping for the moment, but it’s time I went and woke them up for dinner. I don’t think I’m going to be getting much time on the computer in the coming days, but will try to post some photos eventually. Thanks for all the best wishes!

Unemployed and Impatient

Two days of unemployment, and the condition doesn’t so far seem very different from the past two years of employment. Correction, the condition hasn’t been very different, I should say, considering I had about the same volume of work then as I do now.

Leaving office wasn’t too much of an ordeal. Surprisingly, one team that I have sort of been working with decided to give me a team farewell, with speeches, gifts and all that. Luckily it didn’t last too long, as I was in the midst of some particularly taxing termination process right then. A couple of friends bought me small and very nice mementos, a few people sent me really nice (and partly unexpected) replies to my farewell email. The Administration made me run from pillar to post to complete all the formalities, but were quite polite and cooperative about it. And by 3.30 p.m. it was all over and I was on my way home.

I was really lucky that I left at that hour – it only took me an hour or so to get home. The rest of the world, who left at the usual hour, got stuck in horrendous traffic jams thanks to the flood situation and the fortunate ones, like Amit, took three hours to get home (and that was only because he got off the shuttle and walked the last 4-5 km).

Meanwhile, it goes without saying that over the last few days I’ve hardly been able to think of anything other than twins. Will we get them? When will we get them? What will they be like? What are their names, as of now? Are they really completely normal and healthy? What do they look like? How will they take to us? What are they eating these days? Are they already talking? Walking? How will we manage two of them? When will we get to see them? When will we know when we can go see them?

Sigh. Adoption is in many ways so completely different from having kids the usual way.

According to some philosophies, every person is born to learn some lesson from their life. This belief is usually tied up with multiple rebirths of the soul on its way to attaining nirvana. I’m not sure I believe in the rebirth part of the theory, but I can say this much – If I’ve been born to learn one lesson in life, that lesson has got to be patience; and who ever is trying to teach me that lesson is going about it in a rather thorough and unforgiving fashion.

And, what’s more, if everyone I talk to is to be believed, the long wait to actually have a family is only the beginning of my lesson in patience… once I start trying to handle the twins, I’ll really have my work cut out for me. I only wish I could start soon!!!

Twins? TWINS?!

There’s no point going on about it, but the fact remains that every time we see kids – and we see kids every day, every where, damn it! – I think of how nice it would be to have our own, and I wonder when it’s ever going to happen and whether it’s ever going to happen. Life goes on, I don’t get all depressed and blue, like I used to, but I still think of it and it still pricks me, every day.

We had heard that it might be easier (read, quicker) to adopt from Calcutta, so with great hopes we approached a well-reputed agency over there… but after meeting my father-in-law three times and Amit once, they said, “Sorry, we don’t really encourage out-of-state applicants. Come back in January. Or don’t.”

We were thinking, vaguely, of trying yet another agency in Calcutta, but without putting our hearts into it. I thought Bangalore was our best hope and it looks like being a long wait.

Then, we got a call. They’ve got twins! In Tamil Nadu. Are we interested?

You bet we are!

It’s true, they’re 13 months old, so we have already missed the first step, the first word and all that. They’re probably already rattling away entire sentences in Tamil. But, if we get them, we’ll have them the rest of our lives at least, won’t we? Even if we’ll have to jump straight into the potty training part, without any of the cute, cuddly, waddling around on all fours part. (I hate when people tell me how lucky I’ll be to miss out on the long nights and the early months. I really don’t think missing out on the teeniest bit of it, however tiring, is “lucky” and if people think it is, they should try it, before they say it.)

Anyway, so, twins. That means two. Girls. I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up – it’s too early to say anything and lots of things could go wrong… I shouldn’t be declaring it to the world at large right now… it’s like telling everyone you’re pregnant the morning after the night before. But, hope and anguish are fighting a pitched battle inside me, and I can’t keep quiet about this right now.

I wish Amit weren’t such a staunch atheist… crazy (and corny) though it sounds, I’d be happier if I knew there were two of us praying for this to work out.

Naturally, I’ll keep you all posted.