DON’T!

It’s not so much fun being a toddler, I think. There’s so many things you’re not allowed to do. For instance:

• Don’t touch that (about 25 times a day for phone, computer, broom, dustpan, dustbin, and mop, dirty diaper…)
• Don’t open that clothes cupboard
• Don’t open that kitchen cabinet either
• Don’t put your hand in the toilet
• Out! You’re not allowed in the bathroom
• Don’t take off your clothes unless I tell you to
• Or your shoes
• Or your hair clip
• And DO NOT open your diaper
• Nor your sister’s
• Don’t bang on the washing machine, or dismantle its detergent tray
• Don’t stuff the washing machine full of toys (unless you really dirtied them, in which case, don’t)
• Don’t mess with the TV
• Don’t bang on the window, the mirror, or the framed paintings
• Don’t tug on the electric cable of the fridge
• DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EVER pull the childproof pieces out of the electric sockets and stick your fingers or bits of metal things into them
• Don’t pull the paint off the wall
• And double-don’t eat it!
• Don’t climb on the dining table
• Don’t unravel those bedsheets which I just spent 15 minutes folding
• Don’t pull/push/pinch/beat her or poke her eyes out or pull her hair - she’s your sister!
• Don’t attack me - I’m your mother!

And lastly but most vehemently: DON’T lock me or yourselves into or out of anywhere or anything (including, but not limited to the bathroom, verandah, apartment, and car)!