Adoption update: The home study was yesterday. The social worker came and quizzed us about our lives, right from place of birth to current income and everything in between. She wanted to know about every job either of us had ever had (and believe me, I’ve had LOTS) and everything we’ve ever studied (I seem to have studied lots as well, all things considered). She took a good two hours over all this, and ended with a quick guided tour of the premises, that had been scrupulously tidied up in anticipation – so much so that even all the diwan covers had been changed and washed.
We won’t know whether we passed, or what grade we got. I guess we did ok.
She warned us not to expect anything in a hurry – it could likely take a year or more. It feels like we’ve just been told we’re pregnant, but with a longer and less predictable gestation period than most people. At any rate, she didn’t completely dismiss the possibility of twins.
She suggested that we get in touch with adoption agencies in other states as some states have fewer parents, more babies, and that can speed up the process enormously. We got on the phone right away – Calcutta, Haryana, Punjab, Delhi. The latter two didn’t answer their calls, and the former two both tried to dissuade us from registering with them. Anyone would think they were being forced to give away their own babies, they are that protective. Oh well.
Both families were brought up to date, and both seemed highly optimistic, I wonder why. It is strange how you hear of almost every couple that someone or other knows, who have adopted and got their baby home in three months or less. How???
Resigning myself to waiting one whole year, I’ve been wondering what I’m going to do with myself for all that time. Work seems too mundane to be worth the effort. In the meeting with the super-duper boss, various promises were made to find me a more exciting role in the company, but I don’t have high hopes of anything coming out of that. After due consideration, I set up a meeting with a super-super-duper boss, my boss’ direct boss who is about three levels away from the CEO. That’s going to be today and I’m not sure what I’m going to say or what effect it’s going to have, but I suppose I should say something.
Meanwhile, I fought a mini email battle (all very polite, of course) with my immediate boss in an open arena, and he was forced to concede. Now I have a mini victory, which entails a modest amount of work for about three months. Is that worth hanging on for? It looks like too little, too late.
Three weekends away from German class have cost me dear. I sound like a defunct machine gun, stuttering and sputtering but to no effect, when I try to speak in class. We have a “filter test” this weekend – a full mock exam, the outcome of which indicates who can consider taking the final exam, and who should quietly retire. As we have already discovered, the greatest difficulty is presented by the speaking test, and then by the hearing test. This filter test has me so worried, that I’ve taken to getting up early in the morning to revise – a practice I last engaged in about twenty years ago when I face the Xth standard board exams. Well, if I flunk out of it, I get my weekends back with almost immediate effect, which is great. If I pass, on the other hand, I have to sacrifice another two weekends for the finals. So, flunking has its advantages.
Evenings are spent trying to ignore Amit, who is trying to distract me from my archaeological pursuit. Studying after marriage looks like an extremely challenging undertaking… But one way or another, both Archaeology and German come to an end by end August. Should I continue? Or take a break?
I have promised (under duress, I must add) my violin partner that I will meet her for duets on Sunday afternoons – that’s a promise that I’m not going to keep. I have also promised (no duress) Chris that I will accompany her while she gets better acquainted with the steering wheel of her car on Sunday afternoons – that’s a promise I’d like to keep, though on the weekend past various things (includnig Deathly Hallows) got in the way.
One thing’s for sure – July has been and continues to be a hectic month. What will August and September bring?
Filed under: personal, twins | Tagged: adopting a child, adopting after infertility, adoption, family, in-country adoption, India, parenting
